Scattered Pieces

Ok, let me start by saying its been awhile since I wrote in either of my blogs so please forgive any misspellings and/or incorrect grammar.


When God speaks to me He does it in pieces. Its almost as if I have to fit all the pieces together to understand the big picture or... haha, some would agree with this statement, it appears that I am putting together a puzzle because I'm just too darn stubborn to see the actual picture in front of me. Whatever it may be, over the years He has spoken in this way and I like to think its because He knows me best. These pieces are new little awarenesses, things I've thought of or heard before but are now realtive to me at this point in my life. Can you fit together the pieces to see the picture God wants you to see?

In the past few months at our church's Bible Study, Bro Ed has purchased DVDs of lectures for us to watch about the history of the Catholic Church and some of the Books of the Bible. I was somewhat hesitant as I often am to anything changing but here is where one of the pieces lay. I didn't really discern it until after the puzzle had more of a picture, that one piece you've tried in several places but it didnt fit so you set it aside to come back to. Well, we've been discussing the early church and how men and women are willing to lay down their lives for our Lord and His Words. When they were being perscuted they never turned from their belief, their God. They were martyrs, saints. I ask myself, "Elizabeth, would you really, I mean really lay down your life for the Lord?" My inital thinking was, "Yes I think I would." But then I began to think of Peter and his denial. Hmm... Would I really?


I am currently reading, "Set Apart" by Bruce Wilkinson. I have kind of avoided reading anything too "deep" or thought provoking because it always sends me on this spiral of what I'm supposed to do with my life... But after last summers pieces and the remaining school years lessons learned, I am content in knowing that my purpose is in this life's small graces. A life of little missions within where I am. So, the next logical step is to be effective where I am. The book's author urges the reader to confront their past opinions on being holy and how to live a more holy life in the present by putting others before yourself. HELLO, perfect next piece of the puzzle! I am sure I will uncover more pieces as I read.

On Saturday, I dug through a pile of paper to find my devotional for the month. Low and behold the Scripture was Matthew 6:34 "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself." The writer goes to tell us to "Be present, allowing God to move on your behalf and not to worry because it is indicative of a lack of trust and to remember that perfect love casts out fear." She also reminds me that Jesus tells us not to be afraid more times in scripture that any other mandate. It connected to something else I tore out of a previous devotion to read from something Mother Teresa wrote,

" We must have heard Jesus calling us by name. We are like Paul. Once he realized the love of Christ, he cared about nothing else. He did not care whether he was scouraged or put in prison. For him, only one thing was important: Jesus Christ.

God loves me. I am not here just to fill a place, just to be a number. He has chosen me for a purpose. I know it. He will fulfill it if I dont put an obstacle in His way. He will not force me. God could have forced Our Lady. Jesus could have come just like that. The Holy Spirit could have come. But God wanted Mary to say yes. It is the same with us. God doesn't forces us, but He wants us to say yes."
That needs no explanation... I say YES! First, God gave us the example of Mary's obedience and trust in God. Then, He sent His son Jesus to give his life in selfless love for others. Paul, the disciples and the saints are what we are called to be.

Sunday night, I'm laying in bed with thoughts of typing in the blog because I feel like God is trying to pieces things together, gosh I didn't realize I could be so stinky stubborn. I don't write because it feels forced so I turn on the TV and flip through the channels instead. I land on "The Passion of Jesus Christ." Right at the part before He gets scourged and is looking to His mother. I picture God up there saying, "Here's your sign!" The examples I had been thinking of right here on my TV! The love I felt for Jesus Christ was rejuvinated in me after I saw across my television the Son of God die for me.


Yesterday, I am driving to the school listening to the of the new Adele CD my sister FINALLY burned for me, after raving about it for weeks. I hit track 13. I'm unsure if she has added the song to the CD because she and I have heard this verison of the song or if it really was recorded to this ablum. The words of the song, "To Make You Feel My Love" hit me hard. I began to cry. Why was I crying? I had heard this song numerous times before especially from the Hope Floats soundtrack. But this time it was a love song from my God! I started singing to the Lord the very lyrics He was singing to me. The words were perfect to what I was feeling for our Lord and Savior!

I know that I am precious to him and that He makes me feel His love is so many different ways! I can answer with a doubt, "Yes I would die for You, 'there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love.'" I can live my life of small graces with a willingness to give over my life for my love of the Lord a surrender of self to God.






http://youtu.be/Fnn9JlqqTE4