Ok, let me start by saying its been awhile since I wrote in either of my blogs so please forgive any misspellings and/or incorrect grammar.
When God speaks to me He does it in pieces. Its almost as if I have to fit all the pieces together to understand the big picture or... haha, some would agree with this statement, it appears that I am putting together a puzzle because I'm just too darn stubborn to see the actual picture in front of me. Whatever it may be, over the years He has spoken in this way and I like to think its because He knows me best. These pieces are new little awarenesses, things I've thought of or heard before but are now realtive to me at this point in my life. Can you fit together the pieces to see the picture God wants you to see?
In the past few months at our church's Bible Study, Bro Ed has purchased DVDs of lectures for us to watch about the history of the Catholic Church and some of the Books of the Bible. I was somewhat hesitant as I often am to anything changing but here is where one of the pieces lay. I didn't really discern it until after the puzzle had more of a picture, that one piece you've tried in several places but it didnt fit so you set it aside to come back to. Well, we've been discussing the early church and how men and women are willing to lay down their lives for our Lord and His Words. When they were being perscuted they never turned from their belief, their God. They were martyrs, saints. I ask myself, "Elizabeth, would you really, I mean really lay down your life for the Lord?" My inital thinking was, "Yes I think I would." But then I began to think of Peter and his denial. Hmm... Would I really?
I am currently reading, "Set Apart" by Bruce Wilkinson. I have kind of avoided reading anything too "deep" or thought provoking because it always sends me on this spiral of what I'm supposed to do with my life... But after last summers pieces and the remaining school years lessons learned, I am content in knowing that my purpose is in this life's small graces. A life of little missions within where I am. So, the next logical step is to be effective where I am. The book's author urges the reader to confront their past opinions on being holy and how to live a more holy life in the present by putting others before yourself. HELLO, perfect next piece of the puzzle! I am sure I will uncover more pieces as I read.
On Saturday, I dug through a pile of paper to find my devotional for the month. Low and behold the Scripture was Matthew 6:34 "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself." The writer goes to tell us to "Be present, allowing God to move on your behalf and not to worry because it is indicative of a lack of trust and to remember that perfect love casts out fear." She also reminds me that Jesus tells us not to be afraid more times in scripture that any other mandate. It connected to something else I tore out of a previous devotion to read from something Mother Teresa wrote,
" We must have heard Jesus calling us by name. We are like Paul. Once he realized the love of Christ, he cared about nothing else. He did not care whether he was scouraged or put in prison. For him, only one thing was important: Jesus Christ.
God loves me. I am not here just to fill a place, just to be a number. He has chosen me for a purpose. I know it. He will fulfill it if I dont put an obstacle in His way. He will not force me. God could have forced Our Lady. Jesus could have come just like that. The Holy Spirit could have come. But God wanted Mary to say yes. It is the same with us. God doesn't forces us, but He wants us to say yes."
That needs no explanation... I say YES! First, God gave us the example of Mary's obedience and trust in God. Then, He sent His son Jesus to give his life in selfless love for others. Paul, the disciples and the saints are what we are called to be.
Sunday night, I'm laying in bed with thoughts of typing in the blog because I feel like God is trying to pieces things together, gosh I didn't realize I could be so stinky stubborn. I don't write because it feels forced so I turn on the TV and flip through the channels instead. I land on "The Passion of Jesus Christ." Right at the part before He gets scourged and is looking to His mother. I picture God up there saying, "Here's your sign!" The examples I had been thinking of right here on my TV! The love I felt for Jesus Christ was rejuvinated in me after I saw across my television the Son of God die for me.
Yesterday, I am driving to the school listening to the of the new Adele CD my sister FINALLY burned for me, after raving about it for weeks. I hit track 13. I'm unsure if she has added the song to the CD because she and I have heard this verison of the song or if it really was recorded to this ablum. The words of the song, "To Make You Feel My Love" hit me hard. I began to cry. Why was I crying? I had heard this song numerous times before especially from the Hope Floats soundtrack. But this time it was a love song from my God! I started singing to the Lord the very lyrics He was singing to me. The words were perfect to what I was feeling for our Lord and Savior!
I know that I am precious to him and that He makes me feel His love is so many different ways! I can answer with a doubt, "Yes I would die for You, 'there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love.'" I can live my life of small graces with a willingness to give over my life for my love of the Lord a surrender of self to God.
http://youtu.be/Fnn9JlqqTE4
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Friday, July 24, 2009
Chapter 16 What Matters Most
The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:14
The chapter also quotes one of my favorite scriptures, "If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." Corinthians 13:2-3
I'd like to add some more quotes from the book because they are pretty important to knowing what love is and give my thoughts one them. Love has always been a topic that I've given A LOT of attention and thought to so chew on the quotes that jumped out at me.
"Life is all about love."-Simple but not! How hard is it to love everyone like Jesus would have? Thats what I always try to think about when I come in contact with someone... this person is another child of God, I need to love him/her like I would want to be loved, right here, right now in this very situation. Its not always an easy thing to do especially when they are doing their best to make you hate them and you ran out of patience 2 hours ago.
"Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centered nature. That's why we're given a lifetime to learn it."-This made me think about all the times I have been selfish with friends, family or men when it came to my time, things and even my heart... I'm trying to work on this.
"Jesus said our love for each other is our greatest witness to the world."-I just want to be kind to others so that God will smile and be pleased. Also to be an example of God to others so that maybe they will love Him like I do and get to know Him, become a part of His family, if you will.
"How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth."-I often think about how I will be known when I am gone or how I will "live on." This sentence says it all to me... If I change one life, then that person changes another life, I am living on. As a kindergarten teacher, one of my goals is to make sure that the children leave my classroom knowing what love is because I love them, and will continue to love them even though the make a mistake or act a fool. My love for them is unconditional... I try to be very much like I would imagine Jesus being as a Kindergarten teacher.
"Relationships are what matter most in life."-I find this statement to be very very true because of everything you can share with another person. I have no problem with family and friend relationships. What I have a hard time with is a relationship of committment and love... Committing the rest of my time here on earth to loving 1 man as my husband. I dont know why that is... But I struggle with that. I want so badly to know him and love him and marry him and have babies with him and grow old with him.... sigh! But what I fail to remember that its not in my time but Gods time.
"The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others but how much we give of ourselves."(the book also said that men have a harder time with this because they think if they provide that is love, but its giving of you and your time)-This spoke loud to me... I like to think about other peoples relationships and ponder this because I think it all depends on the character of each person. Some women are naturally more giving of themselves and their time but some arent. And the same goes for men. There are also women and men that can tolerate having less time when other cant. So I think it all depends on the couple but there definitely has to be a level of self given, a balance, in each relationship or it will not work.
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Love means giving up-yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else."-I have no words... it speaks for itself. Again another statement that speaks volumes! And one I struggle with!
"The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now."
Ok, so let me start off by saying that this chapter threw me for a loop, especially since I have cut off some of my relationships in the name of God or should I say to refocus my life on God. I'm not saying that was a wrong decision, I'm just confused as ever with what God wants me to do with my love especailly if the best time is now and the best expression is time!! Great chapter though! :)
The chapter also quotes one of my favorite scriptures, "If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." Corinthians 13:2-3
I'd like to add some more quotes from the book because they are pretty important to knowing what love is and give my thoughts one them. Love has always been a topic that I've given A LOT of attention and thought to so chew on the quotes that jumped out at me.
"Life is all about love."-Simple but not! How hard is it to love everyone like Jesus would have? Thats what I always try to think about when I come in contact with someone... this person is another child of God, I need to love him/her like I would want to be loved, right here, right now in this very situation. Its not always an easy thing to do especially when they are doing their best to make you hate them and you ran out of patience 2 hours ago.
"Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centered nature. That's why we're given a lifetime to learn it."-This made me think about all the times I have been selfish with friends, family or men when it came to my time, things and even my heart... I'm trying to work on this.
"Jesus said our love for each other is our greatest witness to the world."-I just want to be kind to others so that God will smile and be pleased. Also to be an example of God to others so that maybe they will love Him like I do and get to know Him, become a part of His family, if you will.
"How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth."-I often think about how I will be known when I am gone or how I will "live on." This sentence says it all to me... If I change one life, then that person changes another life, I am living on. As a kindergarten teacher, one of my goals is to make sure that the children leave my classroom knowing what love is because I love them, and will continue to love them even though the make a mistake or act a fool. My love for them is unconditional... I try to be very much like I would imagine Jesus being as a Kindergarten teacher.
"Relationships are what matter most in life."-I find this statement to be very very true because of everything you can share with another person. I have no problem with family and friend relationships. What I have a hard time with is a relationship of committment and love... Committing the rest of my time here on earth to loving 1 man as my husband. I dont know why that is... But I struggle with that. I want so badly to know him and love him and marry him and have babies with him and grow old with him.... sigh! But what I fail to remember that its not in my time but Gods time.
"The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others but how much we give of ourselves."(the book also said that men have a harder time with this because they think if they provide that is love, but its giving of you and your time)-This spoke loud to me... I like to think about other peoples relationships and ponder this because I think it all depends on the character of each person. Some women are naturally more giving of themselves and their time but some arent. And the same goes for men. There are also women and men that can tolerate having less time when other cant. So I think it all depends on the couple but there definitely has to be a level of self given, a balance, in each relationship or it will not work.
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Love means giving up-yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else."-I have no words... it speaks for itself. Again another statement that speaks volumes! And one I struggle with!
"The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now."
Ok, so let me start off by saying that this chapter threw me for a loop, especially since I have cut off some of my relationships in the name of God or should I say to refocus my life on God. I'm not saying that was a wrong decision, I'm just confused as ever with what God wants me to do with my love especailly if the best time is now and the best expression is time!! Great chapter though! :)
Chapter 15 Formed for God's Family
His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. Ephesians 1:5
How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?
I kinda feel like I already do this to a degree and I'd like to explain why I think that.
I'd like to talk about my childhood because it wasnt an easy one by any means but it has made us Steele children who we are today. I was raise in a household with 3 other siblings, so we learned very quickly how to share and love one another. We are all 16 months apart except for Emily and Michael who are 2 years apart. (Me, Matthew, Michael then Emily) My mom stayed at home to raise us until Emily was in first grade. She also watched other children for extra money during the day so our house was always full of children and people. My dad worked as a computer technician for companies that tended to buy each other out from one another laying off people as they go. Our family lived paycheck to paycheck so times werent always good. When money was no where to be had, we had each other! We were also raised to appreciate and love one anothers simple existence because both of my brothers have a terminal blood disease. Through many or life's tests, we learned to love not only one another but everyone along the way, nurses, teachers, doctors, church members, and even strangers. We treat others the way we would want to be treated. We didnt know the impact that our childhood would have on our love for others but I can say that the Steele family has a big open heart for God's family!
This chapter also discussed baptism and its importance when joining God's family.
How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?
I kinda feel like I already do this to a degree and I'd like to explain why I think that.
I'd like to talk about my childhood because it wasnt an easy one by any means but it has made us Steele children who we are today. I was raise in a household with 3 other siblings, so we learned very quickly how to share and love one another. We are all 16 months apart except for Emily and Michael who are 2 years apart. (Me, Matthew, Michael then Emily) My mom stayed at home to raise us until Emily was in first grade. She also watched other children for extra money during the day so our house was always full of children and people. My dad worked as a computer technician for companies that tended to buy each other out from one another laying off people as they go. Our family lived paycheck to paycheck so times werent always good. When money was no where to be had, we had each other! We were also raised to appreciate and love one anothers simple existence because both of my brothers have a terminal blood disease. Through many or life's tests, we learned to love not only one another but everyone along the way, nurses, teachers, doctors, church members, and even strangers. We treat others the way we would want to be treated. We didnt know the impact that our childhood would have on our love for others but I can say that the Steele family has a big open heart for God's family!
This chapter also discussed baptism and its importance when joining God's family.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Chapter 14 When God Seems Distant
For God has said, " I will never leave you; I will never abandon you." Hebrews13:5
Wow, today was a toughie... There were many times that I felt like God was just sitting back and watching me squirm. Go figure that the chapter I need to read tonight is about God being distant, but not really being distant. He is testing my faith. Will I continue to love, trust, obey and worship Him even when I have no sense of His presence?? Not sure whether I passed that test today, but I'm not going to stop trying my best everyday to be the woman He wants me to be.
There was a part in this chapter that I just loved. We are such a people of feelings and experience, but God wants us to trust when we don't "feel" that He is there. We have to come to the realization that God is always with us. In times of trouble and joy we have to remember and be thankful for what He has already done for us. Jesus died on the cross so that we may be forgiven of our sins, thats how much God loves us! Very simple, but often forgotten...
I put the lyrics to my new favorite song on my personal blog. http://elzbth8fhl.blogspot.com/ It is called "Never Alone," by Lady Antebellum. I think about God singing it to me... Download it if you think you might like it. Its a country group, btw :)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Chapter 13 Worship That Pleases God
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. Mark 12:30
When we worship God it must be heart felt and genuine. It cant be just for the sake of worshiping because that makes you a hypocrite. I've known a lot of people in my time on Earth thus far that are HUGE hypocrites when it comes to their realtionship with God. I am not saying there arent times when we all arent a bit fake, but to say one thing and claim you are a Christian then do another, something Jesus wouldnt even think to say or do, is NOT loving God with all of your heart and soul!
When we love God with all our minds, we are learning more about Him and being more thoughtful in the way we worship Him. There have been times when I have gone through the motions of the mass and not really worshipped God with my mind.
I am trying to make all my actions throughout the day, down to the smallest hello when I'm feeling my lowest, an act of love. Loving God with my all my strength is going to take a lot of effort and energy but I know it will please Him.
As I continue to ponder the above scripture, I think more about the fact that its not about me and living my life that way. My goal is to love God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and all my strength. If I do that, I will surely make Him smile down on me and He will lead me to all the purposes of my life... in family, in love, and in career. I simply must surrender myself and love Him completely! (easier said that done right?)
When we worship God it must be heart felt and genuine. It cant be just for the sake of worshiping because that makes you a hypocrite. I've known a lot of people in my time on Earth thus far that are HUGE hypocrites when it comes to their realtionship with God. I am not saying there arent times when we all arent a bit fake, but to say one thing and claim you are a Christian then do another, something Jesus wouldnt even think to say or do, is NOT loving God with all of your heart and soul!
When we love God with all our minds, we are learning more about Him and being more thoughtful in the way we worship Him. There have been times when I have gone through the motions of the mass and not really worshipped God with my mind.
I am trying to make all my actions throughout the day, down to the smallest hello when I'm feeling my lowest, an act of love. Loving God with my all my strength is going to take a lot of effort and energy but I know it will please Him.
As I continue to ponder the above scripture, I think more about the fact that its not about me and living my life that way. My goal is to love God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and all my strength. If I do that, I will surely make Him smile down on me and He will lead me to all the purposes of my life... in family, in love, and in career. I simply must surrender myself and love Him completely! (easier said that done right?)
Chapters 3-12 Playing Ketchup :)
I know I've been absent from blogging about the book, but I'm back on track now. I've been reading but havent been blogging. Emily and I have been dissecting and reflecting on the chapters up to this point. Now, I'm back to doing it with just God.
I'll catch you up so far on my journey...
Chapter 3 Discusses what drives you. I found that I am driven by my need for others approval and fear. I stay within a little box, or as some would say, I build a wall out of fear. I am working on making God as the person that drives me.
Chapter 4 This chapter made it crystal clear that we were put on Earth to live for God but that the time here is very brief and that it is preparing you for eternity. One thing I decided to stop doing was depending on facebook and texting to entertain or fill my alone time (its a work in progress, its been very difficult. I'm still trying!) And I decided to start making a set time to be with God, committ an hour to him a day for prayer and thanksgiving.
Chapter 5 and 6 These two chapters go together to explain the 3 ways people should look at life on Earth. First as a test, second as a trust and third as a temporary assignment. This past year has definitly been a TEST! God has given me many obstacles to overcome and deal with. I have had difficulty on severaly occasions trusting him and letting go of control. But it wasnt until this past weekend did I truly understand... It's not about me, its about God. Its about the choices I have made and how they honor Him. I want Him to be able to smile big when I am standing to get into heaven and He is looking back on my life on Earth.
Chapter 7 This is the chapter when I realized it was about God and not me. It was like a slap in the face... It was like God said, "Hello Elizabeth!! What I have I been trying to tell you all along?" It also talks about bringing glory to God and that being your purpose. We can do that by worshiping Him, loving others, becoming like Christ, serving others with our gifts and telling others about Him. Those 5 ways are what the rest of the book are split into. By the end of this chapter my choice was to live for the glory of God. Now it was my turn to believe and receive in Jesus Christ.
Chapter 8 Bringing God pleasure by worshiping Him is what this chapter was about. Worshiping God in everything you do and making it a lifestyle was the main idea. I've always thought of worship as a way to show God your love for Him but never really thought about it outside of church or mass... This chapter was talking about making Him apart of everything you do, down to brushing your teeth. Living life almost as if you were in love with God, and He was constantly on your mind. I want to be in love with God!
Chapter 9 The smile of God is the goal of my life. To make God smile there are 5 things that you must do... 1. Love him surpremely. 2. Trust Him completely. (which is VERY hard for me to do) 3. Obey Him wholeheartedly. When He asks me to do something to I obey or do I partially obey to make it fit into my life?? 4. Praise Him and thank Him continually. I always think of the scripture that says "pray without ceasing." I am working on making prayer more apart of my life. 5. Use our abilities. God gave of specific gifts and talents, He wants us to use them.
Chapter 10 This chapter was probably the hardest for me to read and swallow. The first line reads, "The heart of worship is surrender." Giving all of myself, surrendering ALL of me to God out of love is a very difficult task. There are so many barriers up that it almost seems impossible, but I know with God everything is possible. Fear, pride and confusion are the 3 barriers talked about. Love casts out all fears if we can just understand that God loves us and trust that with a realtionship with Him. Pride is admitting we are not in control and allowing God to take the raines. Confusion about what it means to surrender, "You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things our instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda and control the situation." The best example of surrender is Jesus Christ. Enough said! "Surrender your whole being to Him to be used for righteous purposed." Romans 6:13
Chapter 11 and 12 Last night I read these two chapter together because they seemed to go together with one another. Nothing is more important than a relationship with God. And what I realized is that my relationship could use some serious work. Chapter 11 suggests to be in constant conversation with God along with prayers of breathing. This past school year I would "breathe in God (inhale) and breathe out Jesus (exhale)" which was a very helpful tool and it strengthened my trust in God to get me through tough times. What I need to do is be thinking of Him through ALL times, good and bad. Chapter 12 talked about different friends from the Bible that God had and what made their friendship with God so special. After reading that chapter I knew I needed to start my prayer journal. I started writing to God my prayers at night. What was truly amazing about God, is that after I got done reading the chapters and was about to start my prayer journal I heard a wind chime outside... It may not mean much to some but in the past it has been a way He has spoken to me. I smiled and thanked Him for letting me know He is here.
Ok, now that we are up-to-date. I will start blogging like I was, a chapter each blog. Thank you for listening and coming along on this journey with me. Feel free to respond or share your walk with God. I know He will smile! :)
I'll catch you up so far on my journey...
Chapter 3 Discusses what drives you. I found that I am driven by my need for others approval and fear. I stay within a little box, or as some would say, I build a wall out of fear. I am working on making God as the person that drives me.
Chapter 4 This chapter made it crystal clear that we were put on Earth to live for God but that the time here is very brief and that it is preparing you for eternity. One thing I decided to stop doing was depending on facebook and texting to entertain or fill my alone time (its a work in progress, its been very difficult. I'm still trying!) And I decided to start making a set time to be with God, committ an hour to him a day for prayer and thanksgiving.
Chapter 5 and 6 These two chapters go together to explain the 3 ways people should look at life on Earth. First as a test, second as a trust and third as a temporary assignment. This past year has definitly been a TEST! God has given me many obstacles to overcome and deal with. I have had difficulty on severaly occasions trusting him and letting go of control. But it wasnt until this past weekend did I truly understand... It's not about me, its about God. Its about the choices I have made and how they honor Him. I want Him to be able to smile big when I am standing to get into heaven and He is looking back on my life on Earth.
Chapter 7 This is the chapter when I realized it was about God and not me. It was like a slap in the face... It was like God said, "Hello Elizabeth!! What I have I been trying to tell you all along?" It also talks about bringing glory to God and that being your purpose. We can do that by worshiping Him, loving others, becoming like Christ, serving others with our gifts and telling others about Him. Those 5 ways are what the rest of the book are split into. By the end of this chapter my choice was to live for the glory of God. Now it was my turn to believe and receive in Jesus Christ.
Chapter 8 Bringing God pleasure by worshiping Him is what this chapter was about. Worshiping God in everything you do and making it a lifestyle was the main idea. I've always thought of worship as a way to show God your love for Him but never really thought about it outside of church or mass... This chapter was talking about making Him apart of everything you do, down to brushing your teeth. Living life almost as if you were in love with God, and He was constantly on your mind. I want to be in love with God!
Chapter 9 The smile of God is the goal of my life. To make God smile there are 5 things that you must do... 1. Love him surpremely. 2. Trust Him completely. (which is VERY hard for me to do) 3. Obey Him wholeheartedly. When He asks me to do something to I obey or do I partially obey to make it fit into my life?? 4. Praise Him and thank Him continually. I always think of the scripture that says "pray without ceasing." I am working on making prayer more apart of my life. 5. Use our abilities. God gave of specific gifts and talents, He wants us to use them.
Chapter 10 This chapter was probably the hardest for me to read and swallow. The first line reads, "The heart of worship is surrender." Giving all of myself, surrendering ALL of me to God out of love is a very difficult task. There are so many barriers up that it almost seems impossible, but I know with God everything is possible. Fear, pride and confusion are the 3 barriers talked about. Love casts out all fears if we can just understand that God loves us and trust that with a realtionship with Him. Pride is admitting we are not in control and allowing God to take the raines. Confusion about what it means to surrender, "You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things our instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda and control the situation." The best example of surrender is Jesus Christ. Enough said! "Surrender your whole being to Him to be used for righteous purposed." Romans 6:13
Chapter 11 and 12 Last night I read these two chapter together because they seemed to go together with one another. Nothing is more important than a relationship with God. And what I realized is that my relationship could use some serious work. Chapter 11 suggests to be in constant conversation with God along with prayers of breathing. This past school year I would "breathe in God (inhale) and breathe out Jesus (exhale)" which was a very helpful tool and it strengthened my trust in God to get me through tough times. What I need to do is be thinking of Him through ALL times, good and bad. Chapter 12 talked about different friends from the Bible that God had and what made their friendship with God so special. After reading that chapter I knew I needed to start my prayer journal. I started writing to God my prayers at night. What was truly amazing about God, is that after I got done reading the chapters and was about to start my prayer journal I heard a wind chime outside... It may not mean much to some but in the past it has been a way He has spoken to me. I smiled and thanked Him for letting me know He is here.
Ok, now that we are up-to-date. I will start blogging like I was, a chapter each blog. Thank you for listening and coming along on this journey with me. Feel free to respond or share your walk with God. I know He will smile! :)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Chapter 2 You Are Not An Accident
I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born. Isaiah 44:2
I think I would like to answer the question at the end of the chapter in this blog:
Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
Wow, this is a heavy question for me...
Personality- I have struggled with the characterstics that people say I have that are very similiar to my mothers. Her stubborness and pride, her close-minded and judgemental ways of thinking are just some of the traits I fear. I do not want to be like my mother in those ways because she has proven to be very hurtful and I dont ever want to hurt the people I love.
Background-I am very proud of my background on both sides. I do however wish that some of my family members werent the way they are. I know we all have those disfunctional members, but some of the issues that get swept under the rug are very hard to accept especially when the pile of dirt keeps getting bigger.
Physical Appearance-I was raised to always be concerned and aware of my appearance. I think this stems from my mothers unhappiness with herself and the respect we should have when represent the family in public. For the longest time, my self esteem and my self confidence was low. I can honestly say I dont think there has ever been a time in my life where I was happy with my physical appearance. I've felt not pretty enough or thin enough. I have always struggled with believing I am beautiful and being happy with the way God made me. But I also think that going through these struggles it has made me the person I am today. They continue to help me be conscience of with the way I treat people and myself hopefully it is according to God's will or purpose.
I think I would like to answer the question at the end of the chapter in this blog:
Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
Wow, this is a heavy question for me...
Personality- I have struggled with the characterstics that people say I have that are very similiar to my mothers. Her stubborness and pride, her close-minded and judgemental ways of thinking are just some of the traits I fear. I do not want to be like my mother in those ways because she has proven to be very hurtful and I dont ever want to hurt the people I love.
Background-I am very proud of my background on both sides. I do however wish that some of my family members werent the way they are. I know we all have those disfunctional members, but some of the issues that get swept under the rug are very hard to accept especially when the pile of dirt keeps getting bigger.
Physical Appearance-I was raised to always be concerned and aware of my appearance. I think this stems from my mothers unhappiness with herself and the respect we should have when represent the family in public. For the longest time, my self esteem and my self confidence was low. I can honestly say I dont think there has ever been a time in my life where I was happy with my physical appearance. I've felt not pretty enough or thin enough. I have always struggled with believing I am beautiful and being happy with the way God made me. But I also think that going through these struggles it has made me the person I am today. They continue to help me be conscience of with the way I treat people and myself hopefully it is according to God's will or purpose.
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